


Let Me Be Your Happiness

by canpru



Category: Magi: The Labyrinth of Magic
Genre: Implied/Referenced Cheating, Implied/Referenced Sexual Harassment, Internalized Homophobia, Loss of Parent(s), M/M, Mentions of Cancer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-13 05:09:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29521362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/canpru/pseuds/canpru
Summary: Ja'far seems to believe he has nothing. Sinbad believes he has way too much, but believes he'd be much happier without it all.
Relationships: Jafar/Sinbad (Magi)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	Let Me Be Your Happiness

**Author's Note:**

> Another cheesy fic I wrote in December but this time for my dear dad. Can you tell I haven't watched enough Magi?

_ You started eating my favorite candy _

_ You buy a pack in every store you're in _

_ Stocking up on strawberry Mentos _

_ So when you kiss me it'll taste like them _

  
  
  
  


Ja’far was never blessed before, at least that’s what he believed. How could he have been? Born into a poor family that gave him away at the age of six. Thrown into a system that didn’t care for him, and going through homes that always returned him. Not ever before ‘toughing him up a bit’ though. At the very least, Ja’far had school. His home away from home, truly. Ja’far had loved to learn and was quite the smart boy.

But, as the years went on, things changed. Making friends was even harder than before, by middle school he had no one at all. Ja’far got angrier at the world, less people came to try and adopt him, and eventually no one came ever again. School got harder, as it was meant to. Adding the stress from Ja’far’s life and the fact he barely managed to get the supplies he needed, his grades began to slip. Even if Ja’far knew the answer, when it was asked of him he never had the right words. By his last year, he had passed by the skin of his teeth.

A month later, he had to leave the orphanage. Ja’far had never gone to college. He didn’t want handouts, and never had anyone he trusted. How could he ask for help from people when it seemed like no one really cared? Ja’far got a job at some grocery store and settled into a shitty apartment that almost never had hot water. Where he believed he would one day die. Taking as many hours as his tired body could handle, he kept himself alive. The only thing he knew how to do. 

Ja’far wasn’t sure why he stayed around anymore. He wasn’t surviving for anyone but himself. What was the point? No one cared for him. If he stopped showing up at work, they’d just fire him. And when he missed rent, his landlord would just call him to yell at him and tell him to leave. And when they found him dead, they’d only be upset about the smell. He was going to do nothing with his life, and then he was going to die. No friends left behind to worry. He was fine with that. 

  
  
  
  
  
  


_ Oh you're so sweet that my teeth are gonna fall out _

_ I'll get cavities in every single one _

_ Taking weekly trips to my dentist _

_ But I know that it's worth it because _

_ When I tasted strawberry Mentos, I knew you were the one _

  
  
  


Sinbad had it all. His parents were happily married, and well off. Sinbad always had what he needed, and plenty of what he wanted. He got good grades, even when he didn’t study, even when he wrote every wrong answer. After all, his father had plenty of money to make it happen. He was popular in school, especially with the girls. So much so it was almost quite annoying for the man.

Sinbad never really had to try in school, as long as he learned how to run a company so his father could one day retire. As soon as his father was ready, Sinbad was to take over everything. His life had been planned out from the moment he was born. Still, Sinbad was told in college he was on his own. 

“If you’re good for nothing else, you need to be good enough for this.” His father always said, everytime Sinbad visited him at work. 

Sinbad by all means, was lucky. He could do almost anything he wanted. His parents loved him, and he had everything he could ever want. 

So why was he so unhappy?

He could never tell his parents, they’d call him selfish. Scream at him and call him ungrateful. He felt he truly was some days. After all, what more could the world give the boy who had absolutely everything? 

_ “I don’t want this.” _ Sinbad would say to himself some nights, praying to whoever was listening.  _ “I don’t want this at all.” _

Sinbad would give up everything. The money, the gifts, the grades, and the girls. Anything if his father would come home. Anything for his mother to stop crying. Anything to understand why women would sneak in when his mother wasn’t home. Anything to stop the girls from touching him without his permission. Anything to stop all the attention. Anything to for once, earn a grade for something he worked so hard for. Anything to tell his parents who he really was.

His parents wanted him to take over for his father, he didn’t know what he wanted. But he knew it wasn’t that. Still, as an only child he knew it had to be his job, until he had a child of his own. And children...God. Sinbad didn’t hate kids, and he knew one day he’d be ready. But he wasn’t ready to be married, and he didn’t want it to be with a woman. 

Sinbad was sure his mother had seen his search history. She never was one to confront him about those things, his father had to give him the talk over the one when he was old enough. But he knew SHE KNEW. Still, nothing stopped her from pointing out the pretty girls in his class, or encouraging him every school dance. Or talking about how big and beautiful his wedding would be.

“Your wife and I will go to every single dress shop in the country until we find what she likes.” His mother had promised. “She’ll look absolutely beautiful.” 

_ “Or he.” _ Sinbad would think to himself as his mother would go on and on. 

Sinbad didn’t much mind college. It was much harder than any school year he had even been through, but at least Sinbad knew he was earning his grades. And everyone was far too busy or tired to bother him, even if there were a few flirting words shared between both parties. Sinbad especially liked the fact that he could dress however and go wherever he liked. His mother never let him go shopping with her, far too afraid of “losing him”. Sinbad knew she just wanted to make sure his father never brought home another woman. 

Self checkout was quite the scary experience, especially since the workers were always convinced he had to have stolen such big bills for such small things such as ice cream. Eventually Sinbad had decided to shop elsewhere, for everyone’s comfort.

But this shop was even more confusing for Sinbad, as the aisles were so different, the layout as well. He had very nearly accidently stolen trying to find a cashier. Though, that store is where he had met a very special young man. 

  
  


“Hello!” Sinbad had practically sung, happy despite the angry man behind him. 

“Why are you following this man, Judar?” Ja’far asked, not sure if he cared for the answer. 

“Oh, calm down.” Judar replied. “Someone caught him almost walking out the door. Don’t know why he would try to steal some CANDY.”

“But I wasn’t going to steal.” Sinbad said, looking quite hurt. 

“Either way.” Judar spoke up over the man. “He said he was lost and just wanted to check out. So they told me to bring him to you and make sure he didn’t run.”

“He doesn’t seem like he’s going to run.” Ja’far said, watching the tall man dump a whole basket worth of sweets onto the belt. “It’ll be okay. I’ll make sure he pays.”

“If you say so, kid.” Judar said, taking a look over the small boy. “Just scream if you need anything.” He said before walking away, taking one more look at Ja’far before disappearing into the crowds. 

“He doesn’t seem like he trusts you very much.” Sinbad spoke up, sorting the pile so it would be easier for Ja’far. He was glad there was no one waiting behind him. 

“You don’t have to do that.” Ja’far said, secretly glad the man was doing it. This way it would be easier to place them in bags. Ja’far would have to do that too, as  Alibaba had run off to go find his little brother. That poor boy had his hands full, forced to take the energetic child to work.

“But you’re right, he doesn’t trust me much.” Ja’far said, beginning to scan the items. “Someone tried to rob my aisle before, when I had just started. I had never been in a physical fight that involved a gun before. So, I froze up. The man grabbed me and Judar had rushed over to help.” 

Sinbad looked horrified, making Ja’far’s face flush red.

“It turned out okay, it wasn’t a real gun.” Ja’far lied. The man just didn’t know how to use it. “But I’m exactly the biggest person, someone your size could overpower me and run out that door.” 

“Why would I ever do that? Seems like a quite awful thing to do.” Sinbad replied, his face softening. “You aren’t scared of me are you? I could find someone else.”

Ja’far didn’t know how to respond. It seemed like such a silly offer, but it was quite kind.

“I’ve never been told that before.” Ja’far said, not looking up. “Perhaps that means my answer is ‘no’. I couldn’t be scared of someone who was afraid to give me any fear.”

Sinbad smiled in response. “I suppose that makes me a little special.”

“I suppose it does.” Ja’far teased. 

The interaction didn’t last much longer, silence followed by a  _ “have a wonderful day” _ and that was all. Still, that night both went home with a smile on their face. A small interaction that both would mention years later. The time in between filled with many more memories.

  
  


_ I've been searching for someone like you my whole life _

_ So I pick up black licorice in every candy isle _

_ And even though I hate the taste of it _

_ I know that when I kiss you it'll make you smile _

  
  
  
  


Sinbad found every reason to visit, little candies and items he didn’t need. Just to have a chance to speak to Ja’far. Sometimes he bought nothing at all, choosing instead to stand beside an annoyed Alibaba and chattering away. Until Ja’far told him it could get him into trouble, then they had exchanged phone numbers. Sinbad was glad to save the money, and Ja’far glad to save his job. 

As time went on, texts turned into calls, and calls turned into days spent together. Sinbad would beg Ja’far to help him with his work, and Ja’far would pretend to be bothered. Secretly he was glad to have some company and he certainly missed school. The first time they had gone out, it was Sinbad’s idea.

“I’m starving.” Sinbad had whined. “I promise I’ll finish this tonight, fast as lightning. Anything if you promise to let me eat.”

Ja’far had rolled his eyes, making his way to Sinbad’s fridge, before being interrupted. No, Sinbad wanted to go to a restaurant. And Ja’far was forced to follow along. Sinbad was quite surprised to hear the “fanciest” (as Ja’far called it) restaurant in the area was an Olive Garden. Ja’far was surprised Sinbad had never eaten fast food a day in his life. Though Ja'far had not learned about his religion until middle school, and Sinbad had been born into a family that educated him well. Still, the pies were pretty good.

Upon arrival, things had been a little awkward. The shocked greeter asked them if they were a couple, making the pair quite flustered. The second round of embarrassment came when Sinbad learned, in the real world, you had to wait sometimes. He was angry, just quite confused why he was stopped before he found his table. The third round came from when they had ordered. 

Sinbad, excited over something new, ordered far too many dishes to try. Ja’far, after apologizing, explained to him that it might be a bit rude. Someone had to wash all those dishes after all. Sinbad settled on trying two, the teenage waiter being quite relieved. Ja’far settled on a shrimp scampi. 

The dinner was quite fun, to Ja’far’s surprise. Sinbad had been quite surprised by how much cheese he could put on his dishes, Ja’far stopping the amused waiter before they became inedible. Ja’far had never been to a real restaurant before, so it was quite the experience for him as well. And, while he could never admit it, Ja’far always had fun with Sinbad. 

Still, it was not a surprise that Sinbad was going to complain about how tired and full he had been at the end of the meal. Ja’far only shook his head, flagging the waiter for the check. 

“You still have to finish your work when we get back.” Ja’far said, turning to thank the waiter as he pulled out his wallet. His face must have told Sinbad exactly how he was reacting when he saw the price. 

“I hope you don’t think I’m making you pay the whole thing.” Sinbad joked. “I quite literally ate twice as much as you.” 

“No, I would hope not. But it is polite for me to pay half.” Ja’far said, his voice wavering. With Sinbad ordering a desert, the price had gone up to near eighty dollars. Ja’far barely had enough for half, let alone a tip. 

“Do you think there’s an ATM?” Ja’far asked, looking around. 

“They might think you’re trying to dine and dash.” Sinbad teased, his face falling when he saw Ja’far’s face. “Hey are you okay?”

“I don’t have enough, and I want to leave a tip.” Ja’far said simply, wondering if he should ask for the waiter again. 

“Mom and dad don’t help out much do they?” Sinbad had meant to make the situation feel a bit less serious, but from Ja’far’s face he could tell he had said the wrong thing.

“Hey.” Sinbad started. “I’ll take care of it all. Don’t worry about it.”

Ja’far couldn’t stop the tears that had started to fall. “No, I need to help. I can’t owe anyone.” 

“You won’t owe me a thing, Ja’far. It’s just a friend helping out a friend. You barely caused one third of that price.” Sinbad said, reaching for his wallet. 

“I need to go home.” Ja’far said, throwing down the only twenty he had. “I’m sorry. I promised I’d help you. But I..I need to go.”

“Let me drive you!” Sinbad called, watching as Ja’far rushed off. He sighed, sinking into his seat. 

_ “I hope no one thinks he’s skipping on the check.” _ Sinbad thought to himself, trying to make himself smile. 

Ja’far felt quite silly, running home in the dark, crying his eyes out. The whole situation was embarrassing. Sinbad didn’t mean to hurt his feelings, he didn’t know anything about Ja’far. They might be friends but Ja’far had never actually opened up. Sinbad on the other hand was an open book, or so Ja’far thought. 

Ja’far never wanted to feel like anyone was depending on him, or saw him in a way that he could not properly fulfill for them. But Sinbad seemed to adore him. He seemed to have no issue covering for Ja’far. It was terrifying. Ja’far didn’t wanna seem weak or pathetic. But he knew Sinbad saw him as this helpless child. He hated it. He couldn’t stand it at all. 

_**Sinbad:** hey....I wanna apologize. I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings. I really didn't mean to._

_**Ja'far:** It's okay. I'm sorry to scare you and run off like that. I must seem like a terrible friend. _

_**Sinbad:** But...didn't I ..hurt you? _

_**Ja'far:** It was just the parents comment. It's not your fault. You didn't know._

_**Sinbad:** Are they...terrible to you?_

_**Ja'far:** This would be easier to talk about in person. Is it okay if I head to your place? _

_**Sinbad:** The door is always open to you! _

For what seemed like forever, the two of them just sat there. The sound of the fan and their own heartbeats being the only sound that filled the room. Ja’far began to feel embarrassed, and Sinbad began feeling a little more guilty. Someone had to break the silence. Ja’far figured it was his job.

“I guess you’d find out eventually.” Ja’far began. “My parents were...as good as they could be. But they didn’t have much money, and when I was six I was picked up by social services one day. My clothes were in the back seat and the woman said I was going to live with her. That’s all there was to it.”

“I..I’m so sorry.” Sinbad forced out. “Did they...die?” 

“Uhm, no. Not that I know of.” Ja’far almost felt bad for the man. He really had poor social skills despite his quite popular life. “They just couldn’t care for me anymore. That’s all there was to it. I used to be angry, but now that I have my own job and apartment...I get it.” 

“Do you...not talk to your foster parents anymore?” Sinbad asked, his heart sinking as he saw Ja’far’s eyes fall.

“I went through a few homes, but they always brought me back. I kinda outgrew the orphanage. Started my own life when they let me go.” Ja’far said, his voice a bit shaken. 

“So, you did it all on your own? Not even a friend to help you?”

Ja’far laughed bitterly in response. 

“You think anyone would want to be my friend? Really?” He knew he was being mean, but he couldn’t stop himself. “You know what it was like for me? Fighting everyday to just stay alive? I was the only kid in my school who had no one. Sure, most of them had shitty parents. But at least they had someone to call “mom” and “dad” you know? Guess my envy just pushed everyone away.”

Ja’far couldn’t stop the tears now. He was so angry. At his parents, at the families that returned him, at the workers that never gave him a hand, at everyone who wrote him off as some poor kid that would end up with a shitty life. He was angry at every teacher that gave him those guilty eyes, everyone who ever looked at him with pity. He was angry at every child he met that dared to compare his life to theirs. Most of all, he was angry at himself. 

He ended up all alone, even Judar and Alababa could hardly be called his friends. Judar was an asshole, but he could tell how bad he felt for Ja’far. After all, one drunken night with coworkers was enough for him to tell his whole story. And Alibaba had gotten sick of trying to care about him and getting anger in response. It was all his fault, and he told Sinbad. He told Sinbad everything. 

How he got into a huge fight with Alibaba just because he had dared to offer him some left over food from Christmas one year. How he told Alibaba that he was even worse off than him. His parents dying and leaving him to leave college just to get some shitty job to get  _ JUST ENOUGH _ to take care of himself and his little brother. How he wished that man that had tried to rob him had killed him. How he wished any one of his suicide attempts had worked. 

“I have never been happy, and it’s all my fault. I’ve pushed away any bit of good the world had thrown at me.” Ja’far sobbed. “I’ll never be happy, I don’t deserve it. I..”

Sinbad cut him off with a tight hug, both boys crying now. Ja’far couldn’t help but to sink into Sinbad’s touch, sobbing so hard his voice became rough. 

“Let me be your happiness.” Sinbad cried, a smile now crossing his face. “Let me, the boy who had everything but never what he wanted, be your happiness. I’d give the world anything else back. Whatever it blessed me with.” 

For the first time in a very long time, Ja’far felt safe. He felt at home, with Sinbad by his side. 

“I think I love you.” Ja’far said. “I don’t think I’ve ever loved anything before. I couldn’t remember. But I think I love you.”

Sinbad could only laugh. “I love you just as much Ja’far. The world handed me everything, but I still felt as if I never had anything until I met you.”

That’s all Ja’far had to hear, pulling the taller man into a kiss. Every worry and bit of pain he ever had, seemed to melt away then. Just for that moment, Ja’far was okay. For once, he wasn’t okay with his life. He didn’t want to die, he wanted to live happily with Sinbad. Sinbad felt the same way.

  
  
  
  


_ Oh you're so sweet that my teeth are gonna fall out _

_ I'll get cavities in every single one _

_ Taking weekly trips to my dentist _

_ But I know that it's worth it because _

_ When I tasted strawberry Mentos, I knew you were the one _

_ I knew you were one _

  
  
  
  
  


Sinbad’s parents weren’t nearly as angry as either had assumed. In fact, his mother claimed she always knew. She had hoped he would tell her before she was forced to fall for whatever fake girlfriend he brought home. His father was quite shocked, embarrassed by the fact he had never guessed. 

“So.” His mother began, leaning back in her seat. “Can you both at least adopt? We’re a bit old to try again, and someone has to take over for your father one day.” 

“He can still take over!” His father assured. 

“Yeah, but who will when he’s old?” His mother added with a laugh. 

Ja’far could only shake his head as Sinbad’s face flushed red. They were quite overbearing, but at least they were happy. At least they seemed to like Ja’far. Although, Sinbad’s mother often complained about never being able to go dress shopping one day. Especially when Ja’far had one day visited them wearing a ring four years later.

Sinbad’s mother was quite upset to hear the boys wanted a small wedding. Ja’far decided it was only fair if Sinbad’s family was allowed to come. He didn’t know that included coworkers and nearly every person Sinbad’s mother had met. 

Still, both boys were happy. Ja’far had moved in almost immediately after they had started dating, and with Sinbad graduating and the wedding they were forced to move again. Sinbad’s parents had hoped for a mansion, but Sinbad was happy to have a small home with the garden Ja’far pretended he didn’t love.

A year later, the two had decided to adopt, and soon had two new mouths to feed. Hakuryuu and Kougyoku were young siblings who had lost their mother when Kougyoku was a baby. Sinbad and Ja’far had originally been looking for just one child, but couldn’t split the pair up. And Sinbad sure didn’t mind putting the spare room to use. 

For years, things were good. Things were amazing even. Ja’far had decided to go to college and be a nurse. Something Sinbad was so very proud of him for. The kids were happy, and they both seemed to be the others missing piece. 

Things changed when Sinbad got sick. 

_ You're deliberately kind _

_ You make efforts to share your time _

_ You're not afraid of your feelings _

_ And you're not afraid of mine _

_ I never knew love could be soft _

_ I never knew love could be light _

_ And now I'm so helplessly _

_ Sugar-high on you (on you) _

_ On you _

_ On you (on you) _

  
  


Things would have been different if it had been a cold, or something Ja’far would go to the ends of the earth for if it meant the medicine was there. But it wasn’t either of those. It was something neither had any control over. Sinbad had cancer, kidney cancer. 

When they found out, Sinbad had already been warned he was in the late stages. They had tried chemotherapy, but those few months were even worse than dying. That’s what Sinbad had said. So, they both decided that they would spend the rest of his time together. 

Sinbad would quit his job, and his parents would take over again until their kids were old enough. Sinbad tried his best to teach them everything he knew in the amount of time they had left. Ja’far was working as much as he could again, even if Sinbad’s parents promised they’d help take care of them. 

“It wouldn’t be fair.” Ja’far would say. “It’ll be for years. And after all, I am his husband. It’s my job.” No amount of begging could change his mind.

After he had stopped chemotherapy, the doctors gave Sinbad three years. Wouldn’t you know, three weeks later he was in the hospital. And that night he was gone.

Ja’far had decided to stay by Sinbad’s side until he had felt better. He even got Sinbad a room that was close enough so that Ja’far could get ready and get to work if there was an emergency. A few hours in, Ja’far was awoken and rushed out of the room. Minutes later a doctor was by his side, apologizing as Ja’far sobbed into his hands.

The first few months, Ja’far could only cry. He would stay locked in their bedroom, feeling awful for leaving their children with their grandparents. Ja’far had never had anything, and when he lost Sinbad it had felt as if he had lost everything. 

He eventually had to go back to work. He eventually had to see his children again, he would have been happy to die if it weren’t for them. 

“I would have taken his place in a heartbeat.” He would say as his children sobbed in his arms. Years later they told him it wouldn’t have saved them any heartbreak. But deep down, Ja’far believed they would have been better off with Sinbad. 

He hated himself. He thought if he had paid attention sooner, he would have spent more time with him. He could have been saved from the heartbreak. That he could have done something. Anything at all, anything to make it easier.

Ja’far hadn’t felt this anger in years, but he never showed it in front of his children. Only when he sobbed at night, cursing whatever was out there. Whatever stole his world away. He worked even more, and focused on their children when he didn’t. Exhaustion didn’t matter, as long as he didn’t have to think about how much it hurt. 

One day, Sinbad’s parents sent him a box in the mail. Ja’far remembers it being incredibly heavy, and worrying just how much they had spent. When he opened it, however, he couldn’t help but cry. 

There was another set of boxes, plastic this time. Each with his children’s names on them. And at the bottom, the largest one, was his name. Ja’far spent hours reading the letters, and still it felt as if he had never made a dent. The letters started when they had gotten married, but were no match for the number of ones that had started after Sinbad had gotten sick. 

Ja’far would read those every night, for years. The pain never went away, but it got easier. It was easier to breathe, easier to wake up in the morning. Even if some days were a bit harder than others, Ja’far survived. And so did Hakuryuu and Kougyoku. Ja’far held them as they cried when they had gotten theirs, sobbing as well. When they got older, they were allowed to read more, but they all cried just as much as before.

Ja’far was old now, his children taking over their father’s work. Having families of their own. Ja’far had long since retired, deciding all his energy would be focused on keeping the home they had lived in together up and running. Every year a candle was lit, and every year Ja’far cried so hard he feared he would run out of tears.

But every year there was a letter, and a memory, that made it just a bit easier.

One day, Ja’far would pass on. Surrounded by his children and grandchildren. Surrounded by crying and hugs. But he would smile, because he had finally had everything he ever needed. And when he awoke again, he saw Sinbad again.

Ja’far found himself young again, and found Sinbad just as beautiful as he remembered. Sinbad had smiled from across the beach Ja’far found himself on. With a wave, Sinbad hurried into the water, and Ja’far followed. He found himself rushing, but he knew they had all the time in the world now.

  
  
  


_ Oh you're so sweet that my teeth are gonna fall out _

_ I'll get cavities in every single one _

_ Taking weekly trips to my dentist _

_ But I know that it's worth it because _

_ When I tasted strawberry Mentos _

_ When I tasted strawberry Mentos _

_ When I tasted strawberry Mentos, I knew you were the one _


End file.
